Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Is WiFi like a fart?

I am mystified by wireless internet. I don't understand all that power just floating around in the air - you'd think it would drive cats crazy (and maybe it does). Well, whatever. I was at work today and having a very hard time getting the wireless to provide a decent signal to my laptop. Sometimes it seemed if someone walked by, shortly thereafter I would get a temporary boost in signal.


It wouldn't last, to the point that I eventually resorted to roaming around, computer in hand, looking for a better signal. Pathetic, right?

Well, it seemed like a plausible hypothesis that the wifi signals were being wafted towards my computer by the person walking by. Thusly, I figured wifi must be like a fart - you can waft it around.

Turns out the technologically inclined set me straight with talks of wave lengths and radiation. They  may be right, but I prefer my fart theory.


Sunday, November 27, 2011

No, really, I'm not a cat lady. These aren't technically mine...

While we technically only have one cat, a 11-year old fur ball that is equal parts cute and evil, our outdoor brood has grown from Buddy, to Not Buddy, to Not-Not Buddy: three very similar looking alley cats that we feed with some regularity (meaning when we see them, we feed them).

Buddy, who some claim is about 15 years old (I doubt this very much), has learned how to get fed by three separate houses on our street. As a result, Buddy is getting pretty fat - but he/she/it is an outdoor cat, so he/she/it will need it for the winter. While he (I think it's a he, so let's just call him that) will rudely meow at us to get food, he will not let us touch him. 

Not Buddy started showing up maybe a year ago. He/she/it looks a lot like Buddy, but with dark gray spots, instead of black like Buddy (hence the Not Buddy name). Not Buddy is smaller and thinner than Buddy and they are in the habit of sitting on our porch and meowing at each other very very loudly. Like Buddy, he does not let us pet him. 

Not-Not Buddy showed up recently. He/she/it seems to be a kitten with markings similar to Buddy, but more black than white spots. Not-Not Buddy is friendly and I think he/she/it is/was someone's cat. If winter comes and he is still outside, I would like to bring him in - something that will not sit very well with our cat (who happens to detest all members of his own species, showing his distaste in the form of hisses and arched backs). 

Our local humane society is overrun with kittens and I fear that if we trapped them and brought them there, they would be euthanized as they are not prime candidates for adoption. Since there are several neighbors who have started feeding them, while not perfect, is a way to provide them with a modicum of comfort.  I think Buddy was never a house cat, and Not Buddy has been on the streets long enough that he is very guarded of people. Hopefully Not Not Buddy will find a home (or go back home) soon.


Friday, November 18, 2011

(not so) wise words

I like profanity and foul language as much as the next person, but I also feel there is a time and place for the proper placed expletive.  F-bombing everything is just, well, so déclassé.

Case in point:

I was folding my laundry at my local hangout for crazy people  laundromat, minding my own business. Across from me, a meat-head Jersey dad was also folding laundry. His little girl who looked to be about 2 or 3 years old, sat on the table besides the pile of folded clothes.

Dad (folding a pink dress): "Isn't this the cutest motherfucking thing you've ever seen?"

Now, I'm not expert but I would say this falls on the other side of appropriate language to use in the presence of your child - even if it is accentuating the adorableness of the pink frilly dress.

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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I'm probably missing something, but...

I broke up with Target a while ago. Since then, we've been able work through out differences and we remain casual acquaintances - meaning i don't go out of my way and stuff... but in in a laundry induced t-shirt and sock emergency I still run back for a one shopping stand (get it? get it?)

Anyway, I didn't much get the recent hoopla about Missioni for Target. People were clawing their way through merchandise that seemed inspired by the blankets lovingly crotched by grandma and proudly displayed in the basement rumpus room.  Regardless, the collection sold out in record time, crashing the Target website and making everyone all pissy.

Really people? Really?

Well, it appears that people are now seeing clearly and returning merch to the stores, as Missioni items are re-appearing. (yes, there were quite a few laundry related emergencies necessitating purchases of t-shirts recently). I guess selling all that crap on eBay didn't pan out - and returning it at least helps you break even - minus the scratch marks and black eyes, I suppose.

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Sunday, August 28, 2011

Hurricane Irene's crazy aunt Donna

As evidenced by the clip above, people's behaviors when faced with floods and cameras have not changed in 50 years. Same old stuff, but with prettier cars. 

The images are from Rockaway in the aftermath of Hurricane Donna in 1960. I particularly love the "oh shit how shall we get the car off the boardwalk" moment. 

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And... scene.

While the non stop news cycle continues to up-sell the hurricane storm, from our perch it was really no different than a regular storm, the type we have a couple times a year. Some trees fell on our street (which is not unusual) and there are small branches in the street. But to say this was a hurricane just doesn't seem right. Not that I wished for devastation, but I think that the media hype had people unnecessarily freaked out. Don't get me wrong, it's important not to be stupid (hurricane kayakers I'm talking to you), but to have the major networks (NBC, ABC, CBS) turn to 24 hour all news operations for 3 days seems a bit much. If you have to crash a wedding and broadcast live for no other reason than it was supposed to be a beach wedding that had to be moved inside, than perhaps it's time to return to the regularly scheduled programming.

So here we are, on the back end of a storm that produced its share of dumb reporting moments, from the aforementioned channel 4 wedding crash, to a reporter who unknowingly got covered in raw sewage. I think it's time for a nap - and than maybe, just maybe, a bit more of ridiculous non-news news coverage.

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Saturday, August 27, 2011

Irene (the incredible saga, as seen on TV)

There has been incessant media coverage about Hurricane Irene, and every time this happens it seems that is a big ado about nothing. So here is the blow by blow as it happens (or doesn't) as seen from our little perch across the Hudson.

We (sort of) followed instructions to put together a preparedness kit, modified to fit our needs as you can see below:

8:43 am - returned my mother's panicky phone call. I guess the news of impending doom and gloom have made it to South America. Great.

9:01 am - headed to Madame Claude for brunch. Had my usual bucket of cafe au lait. It was busier than usual for such an early hour. I guess they were not expecting that many people. There was a lot of available street parking - looks like quite a few people left (the rest went for early brunch it seems).

11 am - rain is starting. TV seems to be all weather all the time. Guessing they are peeing their pants in happiness.

11:24 am - Channel 4 (NBC affiliate) has officially run out of news to report and are now broadcasting live from someone's wedding in Long Branch, NJ. It seems that since it was supposed to be a beach wedding and now it is an indoor wedding, this merits live coverage. Reporter fumbling to comment on bride's dress, resulting in a report that is equal parts funny and pathetic.

11:29 am - rain subsiding. Some wind would be nice, since it's kinda hot. This is really boring. I'm going to bake some cookies. Back when something interesting happens.

12:12 pm - the rain stopped. It's hot and muggy. Our neighbor in the back seems to be mowing the grass.

1:53 pm - behold! Cookies!

3:24 pm - no rain, a bit cooler than earlier. News now downright silly and naked.

3:54 pm - funniest tweet I read thus far on the storm: "The Weather Channel has upgraded Irene from "unable to lift Gov Chris Christie" to "able to lift Gov Chris Christie." also "NC Gov says "Irene not as bad as originally thought." Meanwhile Guiness record for most people hiding under beds to be set in NYC."

4:44 pm - nope, still no rain.   a bit of rain. News continues to report on nothingness. Image of a man with an inflatable boat and two ores around Wall St. area - presumably waiting for the biblical floods.

7:30 pm - Got a pizza. Rain picking up. Watching Conviction and trying to spot the Ann Arbor (MI) locations. The Hurricane news cycle is now completely ridiculous.

9:39 pm - called my mom to let her know we are still alive. Rain is pretty steady now, and were it not for all the hooptla on the tee-vee I would say this is splendid sleeping weather.

10:20 pm - made some more ice. Would be a travesty to be without power and not be able to serve a chilled drink, no? Warm margaritas are simply not as delicious.

10:54 pm - it's been a long and non eventful day.  I'm going to follow the cat's lead and go to sleep

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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Plate Tectonics

We got ourselves an earthquake in New York City today.  

I was waiting for the uptown R train at the City Hall station to go meet a friend in the Village. I usually try to stand away from all the people for a better chance at a less crowded car and today I decided to walk forward to where the first or second subway car would stop. As I waited, the station started to fill up. Not crowded, but getting fuller. A few people were standing nearby.

As it is often the case with New York City subway stations, you can hear the rumble of traffic from the street above. I heard the beeping of a truck backing up. It stopped, and then I saw the fluorescent lights above my head start to shake a bit. I figured it must be the truck idling directly above my head. The shaking continued for several seconds, then intensified to where the lights were swaying back and forth.

It got creepy.

As the strong shaking continued, the steps down to the station started to groan, as if the dinosaur cast of Jurassic Park was giving chase to a group of unsuspecting tourists. It got really  loud for a split second. And then it was over. No one panicked or screamed. 

My train came and I left. It wasn’t until I got to where I was going and came above ground and saw the sidewalks crowded with office dwellers that it dawned on me that something significant had happened. Through my magical superpowers (eavesdropping on loud conversations) I gathered an earthquake hit New York.

And that’s my story. 

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Sunday, May 29, 2011

Politically Incorrect

I was perusing the interwebs recently, researching vintage ads and found these gems:

I guess advertising has changed a bit over the years. Or has it?

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Monday, April 11, 2011

Grabbing a Widget

I'm helping a friend with a documentary project, and we need to generate some views on our IndieGoGo page. Here is a pretty widget that you can click on and will take you to our page. I'm pretty sure that if you click, good things will happen to you.

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